DEATH AND GRIEF

The last month has been a difficult one. A very dear friend lost her 22 year old son in a freaky road accident. Logically thinking about the way the accident happened, confirms only one thing, that he was destined to go, his time sadly was up.

Even though grieving for the loss with my friend, I can think rationally, resist tears, behave well socially…but when my friend questions why…I sadly have no right answers. All I do then is be with her sometimes letting my silence be her strength hopefully and some times sharing our sorrow with words….knowing all this is inadequate.

Since her grief is so fresh, any attempt to divert her I notice only irritates her….In her sorrow at times I feel totally incompetent.
And then I sit there, with my own mind busier than ever, telling myself…..Death of a dear one, surely does leave a heartache no one can heal….But then mourning for a loved one, surely is not the end of a relationship, their absence is met every living moment. We go from loving them in presence, to loving them even more in absence.

Khalil Gibran has so rightly said….When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. The truth in this one statement makes so much sense. We embrace the memories of our lost loved ones so closely to our heart that we forget to embrace the ones alive.

We are all brought up knowing that the time of Birth and Death is not predicted. One who is born has to go…yet when the time so comes, we cannot even accept the fact, that the person we cannot live without has passed away…and we cling on further to our loss, turning our grief into our lasting companion.

Her strongest wish, urge, need everyday is to be able to hug her son , one last time…looking at her, empathizing with her, I wish…Death could be adjusted…But then life always does not offer a perfect ending………how can it when it does not have a clear beginning. Is life not about not knowing what is going to happen next?

LOVE AND SORROW

I read this beautiful, heartwarming post By IHM, on her blog. And then decided to reproduce this forward I had got. The source is of course unknown......It conveys a lot....one thing is for certain that birds donot differ from humans in emotions.....and its not only feathers that make a bird.......
Swallows
Here his wife is injured and the condition is fatal.
She was hit by a car as she swooped low across the road.

Here he brought her food and attended to her with Love and compassion.

He brought her food again but was shocked to find her dead.He tried to move her....a rarely-seen effort for swallows!

Aware that his sweetheart is dead and will never come back to him again, he cries

with adoring love.

He stood beside her, saddened of her death.

Finally aware that she would never return to him, he stood beside her body with sadness and sorrow.

Millions of people cried after watching this picture in America and Europe and even in India . It is said that the photographer sold these pictures for a nominal fee to themost famous newspaper in France . All copies of that newspaper were sold out on the day these pictures were published.
Do you still think animals don't have a brain or feelings?????

A Void Forever.....

Death….sure is a cold word…leaves u all numb, the pain never easing. Two months ago, my dearest friend passed away tragically in a road accident…My mothers words Ajay is gone, still ring in my ears. Never did I realize that grief could be so raw, so crippling and disabling .The raw power of my emotions amazed me..

Life has not been the same ever since. I live but do not feel alive; hours have turned into days and days into months…. I want to move on, but simply cannot.
I don’t want to forget Ajay, but I do not want the remembering to be so painful too. The times that I laugh, and am happy, I feel guilty. I ask myself have I moved on so fast, and then I am wrapped in grief again. Nothing can justify the fact that he has gone, missing, disappeared from my life…..
Questions, questions and more questions is all I have….Where is he now? Is he alright? Was his passing over painful? Why is he gone, and why am I still here? Can He see me and hear me? Does he know that he is missed?why why why…and life is so full of why?

Just when he was learning to live, he died. And so did a part of me. With his death I too have lost the opportunity, to sing, laugh, cry, and share with him. And all I am left with is this cloud of grief, the weight of which I cannot measure. Life indeed has been altered forever.
My well wishers keep telling me…you will get over it, time is a big healer. Will I? How? Will the gap, the hole I feel inside me ever fill….I guess not, because that was the place he made in my heart. .....