Me and I......

My Favourite person is My Me these days…but with my limited talents, my Me is showing signs of boredom. Thus I’ thought it would be happy to give My Me company

While I is getting all busy trying to find ways to amuse My Me….Me would rather have no I. Me knows this I can really get irritating not only for oneself but also for others. With this I coming in the way of My Me,...there are going to be problems, it can get into your heart, your being and your brain….and if that happens My poor Me is going to be so vulnerable, it is going to get hurt and messed up. This I will make Me feel stupid, and no different than the ones Me wants to stay away from.
Me is petrified, terrified because this I is gnawing at it slowly, it shall make Me do something dumb one day.Once I gets inside Me, it shall take Me hostage. This I can develop so many different personalities That Me shall be lonely.
I wants to be acquainted with Me.And by doing so it can tell Me about aspects that puzzle Me, I would give Me power, the tools to survive. Me then wouldn’t have to lock itself and be scared.
The tug of war continues…I wants to touch Me. Me does not want to be paralyzed.

Me is born to learn to grow, to expand, to create and to enjoy. With I , Me would loose itself. Me was not born to be perfect but with I taking over, all Me would get is imperfection.
I will change Me, and that shall make all the difference.

What makes ME HAPPY.....Part 1

"what makes me happy…..and that’s what my next post is going to be on……"

Many people see my constant, happy smile and make instant assumptions about me...I am a happy person...I am happy for all that God has given me, and also Happy to be Me. I see the people I luv, and my face lights up, I see the videos my kids send me of themselves and My lovely grand daughter and I smile foolishly, start imitating her gurgles, and the computer screen gets all messy what with my sudden need to just plant her face with kisses, the tears get mixed with my slurpy kisses and I feel relieved, thankful, grateful for life and its blessings.

The joy of being alive catches up.....I feel love for everything around me, and I also feel luv for myself. Looking into the mirror was always a glance, but now I make time to look at my self, and I smile. to myself.....It makes me happy that I am alive, to have experienced life the way, I have...I feel like the chosen one, to have experienced extreme sadness and then, so much joy, and I luv the person life and circumstances have created by becoming the Me I have.

So what makes me happy besides my family and friends and all the people who have touched my life in their special way, besides all that God has given me, besides the life I have...am going to try listing them....

It makes me happy to look at myself and know that I am beautiful on the inside too, and I do not need validation from anybody.

It makes me happy to not let my husband complete his sentence; his frown follows with the realization, that I just completed what he wanted to say. I luv that look, of his.

I am happy talking to myself, knowing I would not be interrupted, and thus sharing my concerns with Me.

I am happy at the fact that I have not let the child in me die...it gives me much joy and happiness whenever it visits me.

I am happy acknowledging the mistakes I made in my life..They have shaped "the Me".

I am happy with the the relationship I am developing with myself. It too has become as challenging and significant as the others I have.

I am happy being the woman I am; knowing I shall never be perfect.

I luv the fact that I am learning to ignore people who make me feel bad about myself. It’s their free time, if this is how they want to put it to use... so be it.

I happy at the fact of not knowing where I am going in Life; Life shall take me there………

[that’s it for now, more shall follow, as my quest for happiness..is never ending.]

WHY????????? THE NEED TO DISCOVER ME

"my Me is growing, wanting more for itself, already getting greedy….but still loving myself. "

I have lived life, dancing to its tunes, moving with the rhythm, sometime flowing with the tide sometime against it, but have survived it all. There have been times when I have felt restless, scared, and emotionally so insecure…and then have felt this desire to break free, and be my own woman, my own person.

I am troubled by my own mind, by my own thoughts..Why do I feel this need to be my own person, why am I feeling this way? My husband has always encouraged me to be a person in my own right, but there have been times in life when I have let go of my own belief and followed what has been expected of me. It might not have been the right thing I would have done, but I sure did what was expected of me. I did it not becaz I wanted to, but it did make people around me happy. I did care about their judgment more than I cared for my self.

Deep down I still care about what people think of me, I want to always please them….But now I also want to please myself, I want to unlock all the doors to the person in me, to the woman in me..There is so much within me that is untouched. Midlife crisis it sure is not, while to others that’s what it may seem.

I am trying to evaluate my own thoughts, why this sudden need to be happy with my self for myself, and also by myself. Like most of us, I too have always depended on others for happiness. Their responses to my acts have given me happiness. But now I am going to stop looking for validation. Just for the fun of Being Me ...I shall play along to my own inner voice and the reactions it gives to certain situations and emotions…I shall try listening to it and may be follow it…I might rock the boat I sail in, but that’s a chance I want to take..And I will becaz I have to know for my self who I am.

Discovering my own Me…this thought is so exciting, fresh and maybe radical. But then that is the only way I can acknowledge the Unique ME. I am more than I know myself to be…..and I shall discover that for myself, for Me… I am just very very curious. If I do not find my Me, I shall create it, and may be then I shall discover myself….


{It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes me happy…..and that’s what my next post is going to be on………}