SOUL MATES.............

Down the hill S went…..H followed

S like the dark clouds

H the rainbow behind them

‘I want to be you H’ said S

‘But why? Nobody would notice me, if not for you S

Together we are a roller coaster of emotions

So wherever you Sadness shall go, me Happiness shall follow’





My Second attempt at 55er. I am liking the attempt to say a lot with few words


A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:


• Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)


• A setting,


• One or more characters,


• Some conflict, and


• A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)

[Image courtsey gallery.photo.net.In case of objection , image will be removed ]

FOOD .......FOR THOUGHT

Do I live only to eat?????? I ask myself. Why is it that I must stop every once a while…and be a scavenger…looking out for food to eat, in the pantry,in the store, in the fridge….I look at the fresh red tomatoes, the carrots….and they all seem so inviting. I hear them telling me..I am tasty…u will love me, so take me please. And then as if in a trance...I move towards them...grab them and love them for being so right about them selves.

From the corner of my eye I see that pack of my favorite chips…nodding at me, and I nod back saying...yes it is your turn next…..but you shall have to wait, because I have to muster the courage to stop at one….
Why does my belly rule my mind, and why do I always get attracted towards food that is good for the taste buds only…phew...am a foodie sinner….I pick the wrong ones, the ones that are palatable.

I have noticed that when am munching those chips...I have this stupid smile pasted on me….its like the cat who has had her stolen pot of milk….And all my worries[?]…… they seem to be going down, with every bite….

Fruits I love too. They help me in dealing with my guilt with my love for junk food. I love the green sweet and sour apples, [really?, says Joe. but then love is blind, and am in love with food] the strawberries, wow, how can one eat them, when they look so cute and innocent, but I try,…The grapes, I pick them and love the green they have…..wonder if anyone has noticed, they have the best ones on top of the bunch, so I eat them top to bottom, telling myself that I have the best till the last

Some days I decide, it's health food day. I must eat intelligently. Especially on those cold wintry or rainy days, I get this thought…and so nothing means more soothing than a cup of soup…with French fries[?] or a hot cup of green tea…with nuggets{?}Hot baked vegetables……with cheesy white sauce {?}. Or just plain dal chawal....and fresh green coriander……..and ghee {?}

Opposites do attract…so why does cream come to my mind when I think of cherries, Fresh veggie sandwich and I think of honey garlic mustard with mayonnaise? No red meat…but white…with mashed potatoes. Wow…the thought of these nutrient rich fruits and vegetables… makes me hungry.

The diversity of food, has made living pretty easy...Food and everything related with food, I love... the fridge, the store, the kitchen, the restaurants, I love to cook as much as I love to be fed . I am an explorer of food…food keeps me happy and pleasant…and is that not what one aims for in life……Besides getting happiness from the variety of food. ..I feel great when I see the happy faces of my friends and family, all eating together, having wonderful conversations ….with laughter…food sure tastes the best at times like this…junk or nutrient.

Love of A Lifetime

Love came to him, in the river.

She flowed towards him..........
All peaceful and serene.

He swam towards her.........
Knowing his love would last.

All that was unspoken ..............
would be in the past.

With the silent river she flowed ..........
towards the sea.

He drowned thinking................
this love was not to be.

Enjoyed doing this 55 er....

A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:

• Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)


• A setting,


• One or more characters,


• Some conflict,


• and


• A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)

[The image above has been uploaded from Google Images Search.In case of any objection to its use to this post, it shall be removed.]

LOVE AND SORROW

I read this beautiful, heartwarming post By IHM, on her blog. And then decided to reproduce this forward I had got. The source is of course unknown......It conveys a lot....one thing is for certain that birds donot differ from humans in emotions.....and its not only feathers that make a bird.......
Swallows
Here his wife is injured and the condition is fatal.
She was hit by a car as she swooped low across the road.

Here he brought her food and attended to her with Love and compassion.

He brought her food again but was shocked to find her dead.He tried to move her....a rarely-seen effort for swallows!

Aware that his sweetheart is dead and will never come back to him again, he cries

with adoring love.

He stood beside her, saddened of her death.

Finally aware that she would never return to him, he stood beside her body with sadness and sorrow.

Millions of people cried after watching this picture in America and Europe and even in India . It is said that the photographer sold these pictures for a nominal fee to themost famous newspaper in France . All copies of that newspaper were sold out on the day these pictures were published.
Do you still think animals don't have a brain or feelings?????

LIFE.........AND ME

I just read this quote by Dr. Phil on my blog………'Life is a marathon, it's not a sprint'
Set me thinking........

Really………The meaning of life is different to each person…But To Me Life is …

Life is making mistakes, and learning from them
Life is not only being busy but also being able to do nothing
Life is being honest and fair...and yet also faking it at times
Life is sometimes easy, most of the times difficult. I have learnt how to glide thru
Life is made up of big sorrows and small happiness. The small always outweighs the big.
Life is living your dreams, and sometimes chasing them
Life is never the life we imagine, we just keep moving towards our imagination
Life is supposed to be short, but never long enough to pursue our dreams to our hearts desire
Life always gives situations, easy to get into, but difficult to get out of
Life is making plans, but getting surprises.
Life is full of dreams, but demands action
Life is not only wanting happiness, but also giving it
Life is full of passion, and understanding of joys and sorrows
LIFE IS LIFE……SPRINT OR MARATHON…..
It just is worth living...and I make it so, I choose to look for the rainbow behind the dark clouds, I look for the smile that follows the tears. I think of my friends, who brighten my being; I cling on to the memory of my children, grandchildren, to keep the child in me alive
I decide to live it as new everyday….I laugh and breathe life. I am my own spectator of my own life..................and I love living it.

I Love Being A Woman

A friend of mine is visiting me, and while having one of our many heart to heart conversations, she surprised me by saying …If there is rebirth; I want to be born a man, and not a woman. And I thought to myself…no, I love being a woman and I would love to be born a woman again. I have been pondering ever since - what is it that makes me feel like a woman, what does being a woman mean to me, and above all why do I love being a woman.

Being a woman is a difficult task, more so in today’s world. No more are we put on a pedestal, but we have to combine marriage, children, home, and a career. Nobody wants to hear what we think; we cannot have a career unless it is for the financial stability for the family. In spite of the fact a woman is called “Ardhangini” once married, we still have to find ways to express our self. In a patriarchal world, finding one's voice is difficult……but we manage fairly well.

There is so much to being a woman…..monthly cycles, while a man would struggle with it, we women have learnt to accept it willingly, becaz that’s tied to the most beautiful experience...childbirth..Our greatest achievement.

And the other great achievement is … we willingly accept we are weak [though the feminists would disagree] but weak we are maybe only physically…Our inner strength, resilience, ability to laugh even when hurting inside…. letting our tears flow freely, and also be able to giggle uncontrollably…..all this comes so easy to us. What would the world be, but cold and impersonal but for our feminine touch?

There is so much to being a woman…and yes I love it all. My moods, my ability not to understand it all, my quirks, and my ability to keep quiet even when I know it all. When I am depressed I eat or shop, I have learnt that nobody shall give me power, I just have it within me, and I make the choice not to take it... Oh yes, I am full of contradictions, and yet I can get away with it all. I have not made the rules [they say men have] so I do not have to live upto them.

I can be beautiful, be an illusion, wear my tears like a piece of jewellery, hide my brains, speak the language of silence and say it all, my touch is better than a bandage at times[ say my kids], my instincts are better than my reasons, my weakness is also my strength. I know less but understand more, and I always have the last word. I as a woman can say sorry with my smiles and tears. My strengths - even though hidden, have their influence. I have the power to make life and above all to make it worthwhile….yes I love being a woman. The list is endless...And so I love being a woman, and yes I would love to be born again and again as a woman.

A Void Forever.....

Death….sure is a cold word…leaves u all numb, the pain never easing. Two months ago, my dearest friend passed away tragically in a road accident…My mothers words Ajay is gone, still ring in my ears. Never did I realize that grief could be so raw, so crippling and disabling .The raw power of my emotions amazed me..

Life has not been the same ever since. I live but do not feel alive; hours have turned into days and days into months…. I want to move on, but simply cannot.
I don’t want to forget Ajay, but I do not want the remembering to be so painful too. The times that I laugh, and am happy, I feel guilty. I ask myself have I moved on so fast, and then I am wrapped in grief again. Nothing can justify the fact that he has gone, missing, disappeared from my life…..
Questions, questions and more questions is all I have….Where is he now? Is he alright? Was his passing over painful? Why is he gone, and why am I still here? Can He see me and hear me? Does he know that he is missed?why why why…and life is so full of why?

Just when he was learning to live, he died. And so did a part of me. With his death I too have lost the opportunity, to sing, laugh, cry, and share with him. And all I am left with is this cloud of grief, the weight of which I cannot measure. Life indeed has been altered forever.
My well wishers keep telling me…you will get over it, time is a big healer. Will I? How? Will the gap, the hole I feel inside me ever fill….I guess not, because that was the place he made in my heart. .....

A Matter of Choice

I got this Forward From a friend.....and thought of sharing it with all. Some of us must have read this earlier......makes interesting read.

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help..' There were only a few coins in the hat.man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were.
The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness…. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

Me and I......

My Favourite person is My Me these days…but with my limited talents, my Me is showing signs of boredom. Thus I’ thought it would be happy to give My Me company

While I is getting all busy trying to find ways to amuse My Me….Me would rather have no I. Me knows this I can really get irritating not only for oneself but also for others. With this I coming in the way of My Me,...there are going to be problems, it can get into your heart, your being and your brain….and if that happens My poor Me is going to be so vulnerable, it is going to get hurt and messed up. This I will make Me feel stupid, and no different than the ones Me wants to stay away from.
Me is petrified, terrified because this I is gnawing at it slowly, it shall make Me do something dumb one day.Once I gets inside Me, it shall take Me hostage. This I can develop so many different personalities That Me shall be lonely.
I wants to be acquainted with Me.And by doing so it can tell Me about aspects that puzzle Me, I would give Me power, the tools to survive. Me then wouldn’t have to lock itself and be scared.
The tug of war continues…I wants to touch Me. Me does not want to be paralyzed.

Me is born to learn to grow, to expand, to create and to enjoy. With I , Me would loose itself. Me was not born to be perfect but with I taking over, all Me would get is imperfection.
I will change Me, and that shall make all the difference.

ME.....My Mothers Child

Am visiting my 74 year old mum, and in my mums adult world..I at 49 am the child. I am loving every minute of being the child…my mum has decided that I need to be fed, shopped for, need to get a haircut, and of course need to have the vitamin supplements too. So my mum has her hands full..
Day 1 and am having so much fun being the child, …I am listening to all that she says now, without questioning, showing more acceptance to why she says what she says. Am back to my carefree days, with no responsibilities.My life’s day to day problems are being worked out by her. All I do is lie in bed, chat turn and go back to sleep. The days are back to being nice and good, doing nothing has not tired me yet. I look at her and once again wonder how she can do so much at her age….and if as a child just a kiss from her would take the pain away, now its just her loving look that takes it all away.

I am finding so much pleasure in doing these simple things with her. We went out shopping yesterday, or should I say my mum took me shopping. and like a little kid there I was telling her what I liked and what I wanted, my wanting a beige suit got me a magenta becaz beiges are meant for the old like her[and I smiled ,secretly telling my self, I would have never worn this , if mum hadn’t bought it for me].Like kids we had chaat papdi…mine was restricted to 4 becaz I could come down with a bad throat what with the change in weather…and also becaz I had to have the kulfi falooda ..so that as that….Her enthusiasm on being a mother has caught on…I want to play along with her, skip down the street and run against the wind, and I have this funny look about me.
True to being a child, I realize I do not have a past or a future only a present. At that point of time, I was neither a wife, a parent or a grandparent, I was just my mothers child…my smile was a source of joy to her….
The day went by,. and I discovered for my self that to all we were two women shopping, but to myself I was a child on a day out with my mother. I knew how to be childlike without being childish.
Late at night when I finally got into my bed , my mum said ,”what is a home without children” and I hugged her and looked at her to say something…and my mum said” I love you too”……..and I went to sleep thinking…Only a mother Understands what a child does not say

What makes ME HAPPY.....Part 1

"what makes me happy…..and that’s what my next post is going to be on……"

Many people see my constant, happy smile and make instant assumptions about me...I am a happy person...I am happy for all that God has given me, and also Happy to be Me. I see the people I luv, and my face lights up, I see the videos my kids send me of themselves and My lovely grand daughter and I smile foolishly, start imitating her gurgles, and the computer screen gets all messy what with my sudden need to just plant her face with kisses, the tears get mixed with my slurpy kisses and I feel relieved, thankful, grateful for life and its blessings.

The joy of being alive catches up.....I feel love for everything around me, and I also feel luv for myself. Looking into the mirror was always a glance, but now I make time to look at my self, and I smile. to myself.....It makes me happy that I am alive, to have experienced life the way, I have...I feel like the chosen one, to have experienced extreme sadness and then, so much joy, and I luv the person life and circumstances have created by becoming the Me I have.

So what makes me happy besides my family and friends and all the people who have touched my life in their special way, besides all that God has given me, besides the life I have...am going to try listing them....

It makes me happy to look at myself and know that I am beautiful on the inside too, and I do not need validation from anybody.

It makes me happy to not let my husband complete his sentence; his frown follows with the realization, that I just completed what he wanted to say. I luv that look, of his.

I am happy talking to myself, knowing I would not be interrupted, and thus sharing my concerns with Me.

I am happy at the fact that I have not let the child in me die...it gives me much joy and happiness whenever it visits me.

I am happy acknowledging the mistakes I made in my life..They have shaped "the Me".

I am happy with the the relationship I am developing with myself. It too has become as challenging and significant as the others I have.

I am happy being the woman I am; knowing I shall never be perfect.

I luv the fact that I am learning to ignore people who make me feel bad about myself. It’s their free time, if this is how they want to put it to use... so be it.

I happy at the fact of not knowing where I am going in Life; Life shall take me there………

[that’s it for now, more shall follow, as my quest for happiness..is never ending.]

WHY????????? THE NEED TO DISCOVER ME

"my Me is growing, wanting more for itself, already getting greedy….but still loving myself. "

I have lived life, dancing to its tunes, moving with the rhythm, sometime flowing with the tide sometime against it, but have survived it all. There have been times when I have felt restless, scared, and emotionally so insecure…and then have felt this desire to break free, and be my own woman, my own person.

I am troubled by my own mind, by my own thoughts..Why do I feel this need to be my own person, why am I feeling this way? My husband has always encouraged me to be a person in my own right, but there have been times in life when I have let go of my own belief and followed what has been expected of me. It might not have been the right thing I would have done, but I sure did what was expected of me. I did it not becaz I wanted to, but it did make people around me happy. I did care about their judgment more than I cared for my self.

Deep down I still care about what people think of me, I want to always please them….But now I also want to please myself, I want to unlock all the doors to the person in me, to the woman in me..There is so much within me that is untouched. Midlife crisis it sure is not, while to others that’s what it may seem.

I am trying to evaluate my own thoughts, why this sudden need to be happy with my self for myself, and also by myself. Like most of us, I too have always depended on others for happiness. Their responses to my acts have given me happiness. But now I am going to stop looking for validation. Just for the fun of Being Me ...I shall play along to my own inner voice and the reactions it gives to certain situations and emotions…I shall try listening to it and may be follow it…I might rock the boat I sail in, but that’s a chance I want to take..And I will becaz I have to know for my self who I am.

Discovering my own Me…this thought is so exciting, fresh and maybe radical. But then that is the only way I can acknowledge the Unique ME. I am more than I know myself to be…..and I shall discover that for myself, for Me… I am just very very curious. If I do not find my Me, I shall create it, and may be then I shall discover myself….


{It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes me happy…..and that’s what my next post is going to be on………}

I LOVE BEING ME........

I turned 49 yesterday, and wow what a 49 yr. old I am. I woke up in love with myself with the Me, that I had nurtured for 49 years…what a Me …I love it as much as I love the Us, I so much believe in. The Me had taken a backseat after I got married, everything I thought of was all about him [my husband], his beliefs, his wants, his dreams, which in my mind had converted to our beliefs, our dreams etc. etc. I spent 30 years of my life believing this, and never regretting it, nor do I now….I spend so much time trying to improve myself for the better, always trying to do things that would make my family happy, like most of us. Never finding anything wrong with it, because my upbringing taught me that it was the right thing to do, to put others before myself, and if I did not do it this ‘right way’; that was being selfish. And selfish I am not, but was I all selfless….not really.

It’s been a long journey in rediscovering my Me. My own daughter tells me, ‘Ma, live for yourself, which means self care, it means love yourself, preserve yourself, becaz u deserve it’ ….so on my 49th Birthday…..I gifted myself my Me. I made a promise to myself that I must value myself as a human being, maintain my dignity first, and also respect my limitations as a human being. Half my life I have spent living the role that life chose for me…living it to the best of my ability and capability….and now I owe it to myself too…Is this a turning point in my life, I wonder…..No, not really…..I still believe in all that my Us taught me to believe in, but I also now believe in this one more fact…..my Me.

Am I growing old or am I growing wiser, in wanting that I respect my emotions, my mental well being? The negative emotions that I feel need to be addressed too as much as the positive emotions. I am going to spell them out too, not caring whether they sound right…..they are Mine, So I am going to address each feeling as it comes…..I have started my path on self love. My sense of humor has made me laugh at myself as much as I have laughed at the good, the bad, and the ugly that has come my way…..and my thought of wanting to love my Me, made me giggle…..Ha, Ha…..

I am still a wife, a mother, a Grandmother, a sister, a daughter…and I am also Me…..oops….should this not be vice versa….Does it matter ..no, becaz my Me is also in each of these relationships…..they are becaz I am ….. (I just changed this from….I am becaz they are)…….my Me is growing, wanting more for itself, already getting greedy….but still loving myself.

My Siblings To Me..........

While friendships come and go, the relationship between siblings is permanant.I got to choose my friends, who are always there for me, and ThankGod for them and for me choosing the right ones....but my siblings I never did get to choose, and thats what is so unique and precious about this relationship.What was common to us when we started our life was only our shared family identity.
But as we grew older, there was more to this sharing than just family identity.
I share with my siblings,[ a brother nd sister] an emotional bond that has only grown stronger with times.Among us we have lifetime of stories, laughter , tears, fights and hugs, all which have helped us strengthen our bond. We have build our relationship inspite of our disagreements, distance, family commitments.
If I have, besides my relationship with my parents, this is the only relationship that i have taken for granted.I have always admired the way my brother and sister have stood by me in times of my emotional, financial or anyother form of need. They have been my pillars of strength in my time of need.
As adults we have each taken extra efforts to establish a respectful and loving relationship with the spouses of eachother. This has further strengthened our bond.Though of different tempraments we fit together.
My sister was\is the peace maker, the simple one till today. My brother and self were and are a team.We as children were always protective about our sister and that hasnot changed.He and self are so emotionally aligned that the feeling as long as we are together, we can fight anything has stayed, making life easier to live during stressful times.
Though each one of us have dealt with our childhood in different ways,my siblings have in a way shaped me to be the human being that I am.I am forever Thankful to my Parents for having us.Their lives were not easier then but they made life easy for us...just by giving us one another.
And in todays world all that is spoken about is having just one child.....it amazes and saddens me.
I reflect on the fact at this age what my siblings have contributed into shaping me....The social skills that i acquired from my siblings extended beyond the four walls of our home.It influenced my interaction with my peers.I realized very early in life that my negative behaviour was accepted only at home and my peers would reject that. The art of giving , sharing came easy to me.Also I learnt to enjoy others moments than just mine. .....We laughed for\with eachother than At eachother. In our low moments we cried with and for eachother....we expressed our anger, annoyance and irritation without holding on to it.Despite our individual struggles, triumphs, joys, tears our relationhip runs deep
I read somewhere.....Your siblings are your co-voyagers....how true. My journey in life would have never been so comfortable and enduring but for them, ..my brother and sister.....we are together for better and for worse

Why Marry Asks My Son ?

Times have indeed changed, and Everytime Ibringup the topic of marriage to my son,He asks but Why Marry? What does marriage have to offer that I cannot achieve.And Isay why not?
When I got married, this question never crossed my mind. While growing up, I had always been told that each person is only half of a whole, and to feel whole or complete one has to marry.It was the done thing, the only right way to get children into this world, so that our generations would continue.Marriage also to me meant more independence, as I would be an equal with my partner, have my say, my abode..it was all about my, and then it was us.
I was not told that only marriage challenges you to better yourself.It also gives you companionship, and the warmth of knowing that there is someone who is always there to be there for u just as you are there for him, He is as committed to the same challenges as you, and besides the commitment, intimacy there is companionship.
The response I get from my youngson is..I have it all without being married. I have friends and I have a pet, who is always there to welcome me when I get home, he gives me unconditional love and my friends are there to challenge me to better my self.
I fail to give him a rational reason, a reason that would make sense to him to reamin into a commitment that lasts a lifetime.To him what is accepted is enjoy the relationship for their natural duration than be in it when it gets painful and causes emtional havoc.I tell him, a married person is always learning, learning to love somebody more than his own self., He learns to give without being asked, and thus gets hapiness .He says I donot need anybody to make me happy, happiness is within me.....
My conversation with him continues, yet ended on this very familiar mothers tone..You can spend your life alone or with someone you love and who loves you.To me , as an outdated parent, person to the young of today..the reason remains the same..it makes you think beyond yourself, it helps you learn more about yourself everyday......and so our conversations seem to go on and on..............

MOTHER/DAUGHTER.....INLAW OR OUTLAW

This category of relationship is really unique…truly one of a kind.When you marry you become a family in more ways than one. While, all other kin relationships are bound by blood, this one is bound by marriage, and comes with giving respect and a code of conduct, and above all with a lot of expectations more so for the women…If one is fortunate enough to have a welcoming extended family, there could not be a greater blessing, but if your inlaw relationship is strained it could lead to a shaky marriage.Whether we like it or not, this is one relationship, that can either put pressure on the relationship, or be the biggest support.Getting along with your in laws especially the mother in law can be the biggest challenge of married life
Every woman I know walks into a marriage knowing that your inlaws are the people who raised your husband who also happens to be the man, you love too..But sometimes even this one major factor is not enough to keep peace.While for many these situations are exaggerated , for many others it becomes a major problem to deal with daily. Why should there be a problem in the first place???????But there is….I guess the expectations of the roles we define in our minds for the ideal Bahu, Sister in law, etc. is what kills the relationship, and if it does not kill it, it weighs it down for sure.The pre conceived notions about an ideal daughter in law has killed the relationship even before it has started.We forget we got an individual , who shall fit into the required role in due course.Accept your daughter in law for who she is.Give first Than expect.Guide her along than expect her to know how to do everything the way you did

The man I feel gets squashed in between this tug of war….Son/Husband But then it is the man[ who is now a husband too]who sadly is the only one who can bridge the two. Sadly many men miss out on this one important thing..While the girl leaves behind her family to make a new home, the man continues being a son, a brother alone and forgets he has a new role assigned to him that of The Husband….He is the only one who can make his wife be understood and his parents get respect and civility they truly deserve.

For the parents I guess it does get difficult to let go off the man/son they raised. You have raised your son and now someone else he has got into his life with your blessings has to become a priority .This new couple needs to adjust to one another first, understand their differences let go off their individual lifestyles, needs and make adjustments to run their relationship smoothly. Often the in-law relationship gets better with time, but if it’s been quite a few years and things have not changed, I guess they never will. You can not make them love you, understand you if they do not want to…so all one can do is change your reactions, the years have gone by and they will go by. No relationship is designed to perfection and so neither is this one. Every woman who becomes a mother in law was once married to someone’s son too,…………all it takes is a little thought and a whole lot of love …both ways.

Its A son..oh boy??

My family was finally complete when our son was born, was it easy having him…oh no. while he was all excited to view the world, my doctor and self took all measures to hold him in my womb. Every month was full of stress, he would kick, move, jump..All to get out and be held at my bosom…but it was too early, so I went on bed rest. Holding him close to myself, and praying. God please take care of my baby. and my daughter adding up… it has to be brother[bhai] ur tummy jumps too much….she wanted a brother so much and we wanted a healthy baby, since nothing was going right with this pregnancy. And finally in my eighth month, after our tug of war, stay in, no want to get out. my child won and …Our son was born….I saw him, with the cord, his frail chest pumping, up and down, like he was trying to breathe and sound his arrival to one and all…and suddenly with all the energy he could muster…he made the sweetest sound in the world. That first sound shall always stay with me. He announced his arrival in such a grand regal way, I got to hold him but for a mt., before the nurse put him in the incubator. Please pray for him is what the Dr. said. And I did, but I also knew. my son would survive it all, he wanted to be with me and was thus always in a hurry ….to be held by me, to be beside me….to make my family complete, my world complete…
My lil frail child was soon adding pounds much to our joy, and he was oh boy????All that energy, that mischief. He was forever in his own magical world.
Our home peaceful and serene with our prim and proper daughter was now hit by a tornado. Gone were dolls and colours, now there were cars, jeeps and Lego blocks.
If a broom could make the witch fly, why could he not do so, If a clown could have multicolored faces he must too. Our pet dog Tootsie was his energy tester, he would sleep beside him, hold his tail to take him on his toes and balance him. His world was complete with his simple vocabulary….ma, for mamma, da for dada, di for didi[elder sis] and C for Tootsie.
He related to my husband for the thrills boys needed. My husband a pilot always had to tell him how he flew his sortie. Air crashes he wanted to know all about and always felt the thrill to the word Crash…often wondering if his dad would ever crash. He looked up to his father as all boys do for how to interact with others, and I knew my husband was, is a good father and the best example for my son to follow in life. But me, as a mother I had a role too, to teach him how he should treat a girl right, to respect women, so that he nurtures better relationships. But my baby at that age was past understanding my worries. So simple and make believe was his world which had excitement and thrill only. No sadness no tears, only the fun of living at his pace.
Our abode where nothing was out of place now had sticky fingers on walls, rugs and pillows. Life was not the same there was too much activity…but there was also lots of laughter, love and mischief…My world was complete, there was a sense of balance. Having a daughter and a son had given me the sense of completeness I wanted.
Watching my kids hugging each other and sleeping without any worry and fear, my lips would say a silent prayer.
Their innocence and joy I knew would not last, as they would move in
Life to make their place…while their world would grow, mine always will be limited to them.

my child, my teacher

The first eye contact with my child is something I will always cherish. Her lips had formed the letter O, and her eyes held mine for sometime, as if telling me…. So I belong to u, I am an extension of u. My eyes had got all misty and hers seemed so much focused on me. All that innocence, the look of bewilderment has always stayed with me…and then as if her look tugged my face towards her. I gave her my gentle kiss on her tiny lips. My world seemed so right, so perfect. All the physical and emotional pain was taken away with that one look. In that one look I had a new word to me..MOM.
From a day old she turned to be a month old, the months kept adding and I felt more love than I could possibly know. The days were busy days, but they were filled with laughs and smiles, she was there to command and I was there to obey. Her simple needs and wants were spoken in her unique way. Whimper when uneasy, laugh when happy, rub your eyes when sleepy, and wake up with a stretch and smile. Her needs were few and so basic. There never was a dull moment.
My amazing lil being grew to be six months old, and she wanted to explore the house on her plump lil belly. I never understood what did the trick for her to flay her arms in the air, push the floor with her tiny feet and waddle, and then she would preen at something on the floor… which would follow with a laugh from within. My lil one gave me my first lesson…I learnt to laugh from within, life was full of surprises, and every surprise had to be greeted with bewilderment and laughter. My precious gift from God was unknowingly becoming my teacher.
The months were turning into years, and my lil one was Columbus every day..on her own discovery, of her territory , where she saw no dangers, no fear…..and she showed complete trust in my husband and me.
Shapes, figures, flowers and trees, the sky and water all that I had learnt to view in my way was not mine anymore. I saw them thru her eyes, our bewildered looks were so alike. She would pick up a pebble and wanted me to feel it, how could a pebble be soft on one side and rough on another.She would climb afew steps and leap into our arms, there was no fear and total trust that she would be held safely.
I looked at my precious child, who had started her life’s journey with happiness, trust and no fear……something that in my adult years I was seeking .I too as a child must have had all this, when did I let it all go…..the world through my child’s eyes was once again a nicer world. The sense of awe, bewilderment and sheer pleasure of being alive has stayed with me. Life I do not anymore take for granted……..my first borne lesson to me I have treasured.

Understanding Life

When i was young my mum told me this....God gave you this life so that u could grow your soul...and one can do this only with one's goodness and values. As i moved ahead in life trying to understand it and grow not only in years but also as a human being, did this one statement start making sense.I got married at the age of 18, my dream world was left behind and i walked into a new home with a new meaning to life. I learnt to accept responsibility of the relationship i had walked into. I started living life the way i was expected to, making my new families beliefs, wants, dreams my own. Was it easy ..oh no? it was like peeling an onion everyday. Discovering something new about the relationships that i had, I in turn started discovering my self through my reaction to situations. Sometimes the peels would make u cry but life continued. Soon i had my first born,then onwards, everyday, everything was a miracle, childbirth in itself was one.Life started being lived. I was learning to live outside myself without even realizing i was doing so.Each tommorrow was becoming so different from a yesterday lived.When i laughed at the new joys life was offering i laughed like hell. My onion had a new peel, i discovered the tears were shed with joy. Life looked different through my own eyes. I started unconsciously figuring out what i wanted to be as a parent, my mom's saying then came into being..i was hoping to elevate my soul, and i started living inside this hope.All because i wanted to make life worthwhile for my daughter..it had to be contagious..for her to be able to see everyday as new day..Life was coming to a full circle. I was learning to make a life not by what i had got, but by what i was giving. The journey of self discovery continues...Each day is finally being lived like it is my last..the way my mum wanted me to, the way my daughter could follow if she chose to.