DEATH AND GRIEF

The last month has been a difficult one. A very dear friend lost her 22 year old son in a freaky road accident. Logically thinking about the way the accident happened, confirms only one thing, that he was destined to go, his time sadly was up.

Even though grieving for the loss with my friend, I can think rationally, resist tears, behave well socially…but when my friend questions why…I sadly have no right answers. All I do then is be with her sometimes letting my silence be her strength hopefully and some times sharing our sorrow with words….knowing all this is inadequate.

Since her grief is so fresh, any attempt to divert her I notice only irritates her….In her sorrow at times I feel totally incompetent.
And then I sit there, with my own mind busier than ever, telling myself…..Death of a dear one, surely does leave a heartache no one can heal….But then mourning for a loved one, surely is not the end of a relationship, their absence is met every living moment. We go from loving them in presence, to loving them even more in absence.

Khalil Gibran has so rightly said….When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. The truth in this one statement makes so much sense. We embrace the memories of our lost loved ones so closely to our heart that we forget to embrace the ones alive.

We are all brought up knowing that the time of Birth and Death is not predicted. One who is born has to go…yet when the time so comes, we cannot even accept the fact, that the person we cannot live without has passed away…and we cling on further to our loss, turning our grief into our lasting companion.

Her strongest wish, urge, need everyday is to be able to hug her son , one last time…looking at her, empathizing with her, I wish…Death could be adjusted…But then life always does not offer a perfect ending………how can it when it does not have a clear beginning. Is life not about not knowing what is going to happen next?