Saturday, December 6, 2008

My Siblings To Me..........

While friendships come and go, the relationship between siblings is permanant.I got to choose my friends, who are always there for me, and ThankGod for them and for me choosing the right ones....but my siblings I never did get to choose, and thats what is so unique and precious about this relationship.What was common to us when we started our life was only our shared family identity.
But as we grew older, there was more to this sharing than just family identity.
I share with my siblings,[ a brother nd sister] an emotional bond that has only grown stronger with times.Among us we have lifetime of stories, laughter , tears, fights and hugs, all which have helped us strengthen our bond. We have build our relationship inspite of our disagreements, distance, family commitments.
If I have, besides my relationship with my parents, this is the only relationship that i have taken for granted.I have always admired the way my brother and sister have stood by me in times of my emotional, financial or anyother form of need. They have been my pillars of strength in my time of need.
As adults we have each taken extra efforts to establish a respectful and loving relationship with the spouses of eachother. This has further strengthened our bond.Though of different tempraments we fit together.
My sister was\is the peace maker, the simple one till today. My brother and self were and are a team.We as children were always protective about our sister and that hasnot changed.He and self are so emotionally aligned that the feeling as long as we are together, we can fight anything has stayed, making life easier to live during stressful times.
Though each one of us have dealt with our childhood in different ways,my siblings have in a way shaped me to be the human being that I am.I am forever Thankful to my Parents for having us.Their lives were not easier then but they made life easy for us...just by giving us one another.
And in todays world all that is spoken about is having just one amazes and saddens me.
I reflect on the fact at this age what my siblings have contributed into shaping me....The social skills that i acquired from my siblings extended beyond the four walls of our home.It influenced my interaction with my peers.I realized very early in life that my negative behaviour was accepted only at home and my peers would reject that. The art of giving , sharing came easy to me.Also I learnt to enjoy others moments than just mine. .....We laughed for\with eachother than At eachother. In our low moments we cried with and for eachother....we expressed our anger, annoyance and irritation without holding on to it.Despite our individual struggles, triumphs, joys, tears our relationhip runs deep
I read somewhere.....Your siblings are your true. My journey in life would have never been so comfortable and enduring but for them, brother and sister.....we are together for better and for worse

Friday, December 5, 2008

Why Marry Asks My Son ?

Times have indeed changed, and Everytime Ibringup the topic of marriage to my son,He asks but Why Marry? What does marriage have to offer that I cannot achieve.And Isay why not?
When I got married, this question never crossed my mind. While growing up, I had always been told that each person is only half of a whole, and to feel whole or complete one has to marry.It was the done thing, the only right way to get children into this world, so that our generations would continue.Marriage also to me meant more independence, as I would be an equal with my partner, have my say, my was all about my, and then it was us.
I was not told that only marriage challenges you to better yourself.It also gives you companionship, and the warmth of knowing that there is someone who is always there to be there for u just as you are there for him, He is as committed to the same challenges as you, and besides the commitment, intimacy there is companionship.
The response I get from my youngson is..I have it all without being married. I have friends and I have a pet, who is always there to welcome me when I get home, he gives me unconditional love and my friends are there to challenge me to better my self.
I fail to give him a rational reason, a reason that would make sense to him to reamin into a commitment that lasts a lifetime.To him what is accepted is enjoy the relationship for their natural duration than be in it when it gets painful and causes emtional havoc.I tell him, a married person is always learning, learning to love somebody more than his own self., He learns to give without being asked, and thus gets hapiness .He says I donot need anybody to make me happy, happiness is within me.....
My conversation with him continues, yet ended on this very familiar mothers tone..You can spend your life alone or with someone you love and who loves you.To me , as an outdated parent, person to the young of today..the reason remains the makes you think beyond yourself, it helps you learn more about yourself everyday......and so our conversations seem to go on and on..............