Friday, December 5, 2008

Why Marry Asks My Son ?

Times have indeed changed, and Everytime Ibringup the topic of marriage to my son,He asks but Why Marry? What does marriage have to offer that I cannot achieve.And Isay why not?
When I got married, this question never crossed my mind. While growing up, I had always been told that each person is only half of a whole, and to feel whole or complete one has to marry.It was the done thing, the only right way to get children into this world, so that our generations would continue.Marriage also to me meant more independence, as I would be an equal with my partner, have my say, my was all about my, and then it was us.
I was not told that only marriage challenges you to better yourself.It also gives you companionship, and the warmth of knowing that there is someone who is always there to be there for u just as you are there for him, He is as committed to the same challenges as you, and besides the commitment, intimacy there is companionship.
The response I get from my youngson is..I have it all without being married. I have friends and I have a pet, who is always there to welcome me when I get home, he gives me unconditional love and my friends are there to challenge me to better my self.
I fail to give him a rational reason, a reason that would make sense to him to reamin into a commitment that lasts a lifetime.To him what is accepted is enjoy the relationship for their natural duration than be in it when it gets painful and causes emtional havoc.I tell him, a married person is always learning, learning to love somebody more than his own self., He learns to give without being asked, and thus gets hapiness .He says I donot need anybody to make me happy, happiness is within me.....
My conversation with him continues, yet ended on this very familiar mothers tone..You can spend your life alone or with someone you love and who loves you.To me , as an outdated parent, person to the young of today..the reason remains the makes you think beyond yourself, it helps you learn more about yourself everyday......and so our conversations seem to go on and on..............


J P Joshi said...

When does our son have this conversation with you? I also would like to have a say.... dear wife. 'Why marry'? ...... a very valid question though.

Reflections said...

LOL@ the above answer:-D

Tho I dont totally agree with ur son's answer, the very same question has occured every once in a while esp when marital life give tense moments:-D

Indyeah said...

lol@JP sir's answer..I can soo idntify with this:)
My youger bro has this exact same conversation with mom and gives the same reasons..:)
Ma has given up(dont think so though:D)
dad has no clue about these conversations:)