Wednesday, April 28, 2010

DISCOVERING MYSELF..........?

Today started off as any other day, but as the clock ticked away the hours, the mind weaved its thoughts, and I realized Today was not like any other day. Outwardly nothing had changed, the changes were within me.

Off late my mind asks me questions that I wonder if I will ever have answers to.... What am I striving for, What do I want to learn before I die, What is it that I am searching for, What do I seek to embrace, What if I get lost in everything and never find Myself………Do I really want to discover myself, Do I really want to get lost in all the questions my mind asks , Should I flee from my mind or just get lost in it all?

Discovering myself, is a journey I donot want to embark on. Much as I need to find myself at times, I discover myself through the relationships I have developed, the self that has been created by the people around me. As I look back on life, I discover that that there are major opinions that I have acquired, some beliefs I have discarded, some I have adapted to, some mysteries of life I have ventured into all by myself, but found answers to{?} because of the people, the relationships around me. It is through my relationships that some days I encounter my self, and then I feel am born yet again. And at times like these I act like Columbas.Just when I think I know myself, life changes and I react like a stranger to what it throws at me. Discovering myself is indeed puzzling…I ask myself will I ever come face to face with myself?

Is there any part of me that hasn’t been altered, stayed unchanged? Why is my own self so hidden from me? Discovering myself, is it really worth the effort? Will I ever find my own answers or will I keep discovering myself through my relationships?

If I know the real myself, will I love Myself or run away from it? Knowing myself is indeed not only a difficult task but an inconvenient one too. Maybe, one day my self examination would give me a true picture of Myself, or maybe I shall never Discover Myself, but I know I shall discover the person I wanted to be…and so I shall come face to face with Myself.