Monday, May 12, 2008

my child, my teacher

The first eye contact with my child is something I will always cherish. Her lips had formed the letter O, and her eyes held mine for sometime, as if telling me…. So I belong to u, I am an extension of u. My eyes had got all misty and hers seemed so much focused on me. All that innocence, the look of bewilderment has always stayed with me…and then as if her look tugged my face towards her. I gave her my gentle kiss on her tiny lips. My world seemed so right, so perfect. All the physical and emotional pain was taken away with that one look. In that one look I had a new word to me..MOM.
From a day old she turned to be a month old, the months kept adding and I felt more love than I could possibly know. The days were busy days, but they were filled with laughs and smiles, she was there to command and I was there to obey. Her simple needs and wants were spoken in her unique way. Whimper when uneasy, laugh when happy, rub your eyes when sleepy, and wake up with a stretch and smile. Her needs were few and so basic. There never was a dull moment.
My amazing lil being grew to be six months old, and she wanted to explore the house on her plump lil belly. I never understood what did the trick for her to flay her arms in the air, push the floor with her tiny feet and waddle, and then she would preen at something on the floor… which would follow with a laugh from within. My lil one gave me my first lesson…I learnt to laugh from within, life was full of surprises, and every surprise had to be greeted with bewilderment and laughter. My precious gift from God was unknowingly becoming my teacher.
The months were turning into years, and my lil one was Columbus every day..on her own discovery, of her territory , where she saw no dangers, no fear…..and she showed complete trust in my husband and me.
Shapes, figures, flowers and trees, the sky and water all that I had learnt to view in my way was not mine anymore. I saw them thru her eyes, our bewildered looks were so alike. She would pick up a pebble and wanted me to feel it, how could a pebble be soft on one side and rough on another.She would climb afew steps and leap into our arms, there was no fear and total trust that she would be held safely.
I looked at my precious child, who had started her life’s journey with happiness, trust and no fear……something that in my adult years I was seeking .I too as a child must have had all this, when did I let it all go…..the world through my child’s eyes was once again a nicer world. The sense of awe, bewilderment and sheer pleasure of being alive has stayed with me. Life I do not anymore take for granted…… first borne lesson to me I have treasured.


Anonymous said...

Loved reading it. Keep writing.

Kals said...

I loved reading it keep on writing I some times can't believe you wrote this cos you have always been the aloof one. your daughter was and still is very remarkable. would like to read about Meher also. and if possible about your dad.