Thursday, May 13, 2010

EXPECTATIONS .......

What is with life and relationships these days? Everybody seems to be embittered.
Why are we so high in expectations on everybody else but ourselves? Nirupama Pathak was a case in point which really got me thinking about relationships between parents and children…this relationship for sure is going through a transition, and maybe vanishing with uncertainty and expectation.

We keep saying the modern generation children are failing their parents……why do we not think once that are parents not failing their children too. Why do we parents give our children wings, when we ourselves have not learnt to fly yet? Should we not as parents fulfill our own expectations of ourselves than start expecting from our children. So bound are we parents by our own values, our beliefs that we at times refuse to make the change in our attitude to life.
We give our kids the best of education, wanting them to excel in everything in life, always wanting them to do the right thing, hoping, praying that they imbibe by the values we set for them, setting high standards for them …thus doing everything right in life…and we as parents forget…that they are human beings in their own right, they shall make their own mistakes sometimes unobserved in life’s fast pace, and maybe learn from those mistakes. Much as our life is ours, their life is theirs too.

In life most of the things we do is because our parents did it that way, or so is the norm of the society...the society which too is formed by us. We parents have become Modern…but we have also become skeptical. We feel, our way is the best, no other way shall work for our children. So firm are we in our mindset that any other way but ours brings us disappointment. Our expectations have to be met in a set way…or else it shall only bring us disappointment…forgetting that expectation is not meant to be without disappointment. Instead of being so sensitive to our own needs as parents should we not just let them make their mistakes, [No, I do not advocate sex before marriage, or teen pregnancies and all other choices that the younger generation makes.]
But should we as parents try not judging them and do what we as parents can do best…give them love especially when they donot deserve it,give unconditional love so that no young life is lonely in their darkest hours of crisis.

9 comments:

Renu said...

Why dont you write more often?..its so good to read you..
third para is so true and I loved these lines also...give them love especially when they donot deserve it,give unconditional love so that no young life is lonely in their darkest hours of crisis.

you wouldnt believe it but not only my children, I want to give support to anyone who feels lonely of left out..

Till our children become an adult and sometimes even after that its our duty to support them all the way..I keep telling my siblings that all parents can support a topper , or for that matter everybody will rally behind a topper, but as a parent you must give your child support in all conditions.

Sparkling said...

A fresh perspective from a parent and I quite like it :)

CY|\|O$|_|RE said...

Being a Graduation Student.....i don't have much experience to comment on this post.....but these days we need to change the thinking of our parents as in most of the matters, their view is.."see beta...we are now out of it...we can't do it..." or something like that....which most of the time give some of the students extra liberty or what you called is "WINGS".....

Parents must themselves first get into the thing in a proper manner so that they know about the thing and the total control doesn't get in the hands of the child.......

HEMA said...

well said. parents expect a lot from kids,but i dont expect my son to excell in everything.I tell him to take part. if wins, v celebrate. if looses, i try to show him that the other child was better than him,and participation is what matters.

Poonam J said...

Renu....I as a parent feel that what ever our kids grow up to be, they shall always remain our children, like we are to our parents. we as parents try teaching our children about life, but we should also be able to learn from them. Loving them surely does not mean giving in to all their whims and fancies, there are times one has to put their foot down, but there will be times when as a parent we should be able to tell them ...we donot love your behaviour but we love you.

Poonam J said...

Thankyou Sparkling...my perspective is that we as parents should not only bring up our children , but also not let them down, when they so need us.

Poonam J said...

CIM..Welcome...Parents never giver wings to their children without the hope that they have given them roots too....wings are not given as extra liberty, but with the hope that they expand their mind and excel in what they do.We as parents like our parents can only give sound helpful advice, so that children stay on the right path, but the final walking on the right path is in ones own hands.

Poonam J said...

Welcome Hema...Rightly said while we as parents should teach our kids to enjoy their success, we should also teach them to learn from their failure. The love of aparent and child truly cannot be measured.

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