Tuesday, June 22, 2010

HAPPY ANIVERSARY.......

32 years ago, my mum said….in a marriage do not look for Him, to be the right person, first be the right person…Profound words which at 18 did not make sense to me, but always stayed with me. The journey of a new life that I took with Joe has grown step by step, and it is 32 years today……….Life indeed has come a long way…

We had an arranged marriage, but love blossomed with the years sometimes knowingly sometimes unknowingly…its been an adventure we set out on together, discovering each other, loosing one self, sounding like an enemy at times, we met with life’s incidents, some we turned into disasters, some we managed to take lessons from.

Sometimes we went our own separate ways, but realized that all the paths we took finally did lead to each other... We tried changing each other and over the years realized, that unknowingly we had adapted to each others way. Some times my ego took a bashing and sometimes his, but silently the ego was sacrificed…to each of us, our inner worth was visible, taken for granted at times, but at other times respected.

When did we stop asking each other for our best, to giving each other our best, speaking our mind…knowing the other will understand the feeling behind the harsh words? Words that shall not create tension or conflict but harmony, we have learnt to understand the unspoken behind the spoken. From feeling some days how can I live with him, he has become the person I can not live without.

The vows we took 32 years ago have matured slowly, the vows alone have not held us together for 32 years…it’s the little and big incidents, its standing together shoulder to shoulder when life gave the chills, yet giving each other space and independence. With eyes wide open and half shut at times we continue this journey of life………As somebody rightly said………. We have come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly

18 comments:

N said...

Happy Anniversary Poonam Ji..
God Bless !!

Piper .. said...

Ah! Beautiful! What a beautiful thought that was - the one your Mom handed down to you! Happy Anniversary, Poonam Man!

Indyeah said...

Happy Marriage Anniversary:))
I came to read the 'poles apart' post of yours and then saw this:)))
(((((((((hugs)))))))))
Kahlil's lines could have been written for both of you I think:)

''But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.............


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.........

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.''


Warm wishes for you and JP Sir:)
32 years is just so awe inducing:)
*touchwood*:)

Poonam J said...

Thankyou N,

Piper...yes beautiful words...which made sense so late in life, some words made sense early in life, some stayed, and life ,made them understand, some I have always cherished.Thank you.

Indyeah.........u are around?????Kahlil Gibran...I have his thick volume, and I did read about marriage..what stayed with me is...stand together, yet not too near togetherfor the pillars of the temple stand apart............Beautifully said..I guess thats what made 32 years a smooth ride....Thank you

Agnes said...

Oh wow -- beautiful.

Usha Pisharody said...

This is a beautiful journey you describe... :)

Wishes to you and JP Sir, belated though they be!

May you always be blessed to find the best in each other... always :)

Shilpa said...

I will take this advice also along with me :)

newmumontheblock said...

Wish you a very happy anniversary, you have captured your journey together in a very poignant way. Wish you many more such years of togetherness!

indianhomemaker said...

Belated Anniversary wishes to you both. Loved reading your post, specially these lines,


"the vows alone have not held us together for 32 years…it’s the little and big incidents, its standing together shoulder to shoulder when life gave the chills, yet giving each other space and independence. .. We have come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly..."

Beautifully said Poonam!!

Poonam J said...

Thanks Agnes.

Usha....yes, beutiful journey t has come to be, with roadblocks every now and then, we created our own path...and the journey continues, with Gods grace.

Poonam J said...

Shilpa...welcome to my space...this advice has held me in good stead...hopefully it helps you too.....

NMB...Thankyou for your wishes

IHM.....Thankyou for your wishes....you would understand wearing tinted glasses in a marriage helps..so both Joe and self put our glasses on, every now and then...and life continues together.

Renu said...

wow Poonam what a post!and it shows what lovely couple you both are !
Wish you a belated happy anniversary and many many more !

Poonam J said...

Thank you Renu, for your kind words...hows the holiday going ?

Usha Pisharody said...

A tag, if you would Poonam? I have a feeling, a big one, that you may enjoy it? HERE

Nu said...

Happy Anniversary :)

The story has come to an end...you might like to check :)

Your kals said...

A beautiful post love it. I agree it is an adventure for all of us. Some of us have a smooth one or some of us have too many ups and downs. But it teaches you a lot. God Bless You Both

up↑take said...

Came here from a link on Joe's blog. Why isn't there a link to his blog on yours?

manju said...

hi poonam,
belated wishes. i m sure u know that u are a lucky person, but i m sure a lot of hard work has gone into creating this luck.
wish u many more years of togetherness n happiness.