FOOD .......FOR THOUGHT

Do I live only to eat?????? I ask myself. Why is it that I must stop every once a while…and be a scavenger…looking out for food to eat, in the pantry,in the store, in the fridge….I look at the fresh red tomatoes, the carrots….and they all seem so inviting. I hear them telling me..I am tasty…u will love me, so take me please. And then as if in a trance...I move towards them...grab them and love them for being so right about them selves.

From the corner of my eye I see that pack of my favorite chips…nodding at me, and I nod back saying...yes it is your turn next…..but you shall have to wait, because I have to muster the courage to stop at one….
Why does my belly rule my mind, and why do I always get attracted towards food that is good for the taste buds only…phew...am a foodie sinner….I pick the wrong ones, the ones that are palatable.

I have noticed that when am munching those chips...I have this stupid smile pasted on me….its like the cat who has had her stolen pot of milk….And all my worries[?]…… they seem to be going down, with every bite….

Fruits I love too. They help me in dealing with my guilt with my love for junk food. I love the green sweet and sour apples, [really?, says Joe. but then love is blind, and am in love with food] the strawberries, wow, how can one eat them, when they look so cute and innocent, but I try,…The grapes, I pick them and love the green they have…..wonder if anyone has noticed, they have the best ones on top of the bunch, so I eat them top to bottom, telling myself that I have the best till the last

Some days I decide, it's health food day. I must eat intelligently. Especially on those cold wintry or rainy days, I get this thought…and so nothing means more soothing than a cup of soup…with French fries[?] or a hot cup of green tea…with nuggets{?}Hot baked vegetables……with cheesy white sauce {?}. Or just plain dal chawal....and fresh green coriander……..and ghee {?}

Opposites do attract…so why does cream come to my mind when I think of cherries, Fresh veggie sandwich and I think of honey garlic mustard with mayonnaise? No red meat…but white…with mashed potatoes. Wow…the thought of these nutrient rich fruits and vegetables… makes me hungry.

The diversity of food, has made living pretty easy...Food and everything related with food, I love... the fridge, the store, the kitchen, the restaurants, I love to cook as much as I love to be fed . I am an explorer of food…food keeps me happy and pleasant…and is that not what one aims for in life……Besides getting happiness from the variety of food. ..I feel great when I see the happy faces of my friends and family, all eating together, having wonderful conversations ….with laughter…food sure tastes the best at times like this…junk or nutrient.

LIFE.........AND ME

I just read this quote by Dr. Phil on my blog………'Life is a marathon, it's not a sprint'
Set me thinking........

Really………The meaning of life is different to each person…But To Me Life is …

Life is making mistakes, and learning from them
Life is not only being busy but also being able to do nothing
Life is being honest and fair...and yet also faking it at times
Life is sometimes easy, most of the times difficult. I have learnt how to glide thru
Life is made up of big sorrows and small happiness. The small always outweighs the big.
Life is living your dreams, and sometimes chasing them
Life is never the life we imagine, we just keep moving towards our imagination
Life is supposed to be short, but never long enough to pursue our dreams to our hearts desire
Life always gives situations, easy to get into, but difficult to get out of
Life is making plans, but getting surprises.
Life is full of dreams, but demands action
Life is not only wanting happiness, but also giving it
Life is full of passion, and understanding of joys and sorrows
LIFE IS LIFE……SPRINT OR MARATHON…..
It just is worth living...and I make it so, I choose to look for the rainbow behind the dark clouds, I look for the smile that follows the tears. I think of my friends, who brighten my being; I cling on to the memory of my children, grandchildren, to keep the child in me alive
I decide to live it as new everyday….I laugh and breathe life. I am my own spectator of my own life..................and I love living it.

A Void Forever.....

Death….sure is a cold word…leaves u all numb, the pain never easing. Two months ago, my dearest friend passed away tragically in a road accident…My mothers words Ajay is gone, still ring in my ears. Never did I realize that grief could be so raw, so crippling and disabling .The raw power of my emotions amazed me..

Life has not been the same ever since. I live but do not feel alive; hours have turned into days and days into months…. I want to move on, but simply cannot.
I don’t want to forget Ajay, but I do not want the remembering to be so painful too. The times that I laugh, and am happy, I feel guilty. I ask myself have I moved on so fast, and then I am wrapped in grief again. Nothing can justify the fact that he has gone, missing, disappeared from my life…..
Questions, questions and more questions is all I have….Where is he now? Is he alright? Was his passing over painful? Why is he gone, and why am I still here? Can He see me and hear me? Does he know that he is missed?why why why…and life is so full of why?

Just when he was learning to live, he died. And so did a part of me. With his death I too have lost the opportunity, to sing, laugh, cry, and share with him. And all I am left with is this cloud of grief, the weight of which I cannot measure. Life indeed has been altered forever.
My well wishers keep telling me…you will get over it, time is a big healer. Will I? How? Will the gap, the hole I feel inside me ever fill….I guess not, because that was the place he made in my heart. .....

What makes ME HAPPY.....Part 1

"what makes me happy…..and that’s what my next post is going to be on……"

Many people see my constant, happy smile and make instant assumptions about me...I am a happy person...I am happy for all that God has given me, and also Happy to be Me. I see the people I luv, and my face lights up, I see the videos my kids send me of themselves and My lovely grand daughter and I smile foolishly, start imitating her gurgles, and the computer screen gets all messy what with my sudden need to just plant her face with kisses, the tears get mixed with my slurpy kisses and I feel relieved, thankful, grateful for life and its blessings.

The joy of being alive catches up.....I feel love for everything around me, and I also feel luv for myself. Looking into the mirror was always a glance, but now I make time to look at my self, and I smile. to myself.....It makes me happy that I am alive, to have experienced life the way, I have...I feel like the chosen one, to have experienced extreme sadness and then, so much joy, and I luv the person life and circumstances have created by becoming the Me I have.

So what makes me happy besides my family and friends and all the people who have touched my life in their special way, besides all that God has given me, besides the life I have...am going to try listing them....

It makes me happy to look at myself and know that I am beautiful on the inside too, and I do not need validation from anybody.

It makes me happy to not let my husband complete his sentence; his frown follows with the realization, that I just completed what he wanted to say. I luv that look, of his.

I am happy talking to myself, knowing I would not be interrupted, and thus sharing my concerns with Me.

I am happy at the fact that I have not let the child in me die...it gives me much joy and happiness whenever it visits me.

I am happy acknowledging the mistakes I made in my life..They have shaped "the Me".

I am happy with the the relationship I am developing with myself. It too has become as challenging and significant as the others I have.

I am happy being the woman I am; knowing I shall never be perfect.

I luv the fact that I am learning to ignore people who make me feel bad about myself. It’s their free time, if this is how they want to put it to use... so be it.

I happy at the fact of not knowing where I am going in Life; Life shall take me there………

[that’s it for now, more shall follow, as my quest for happiness..is never ending.]